


Sunflower Skies

by iaintafraidofnoghostbear, trashcoon (steven_damnkos)



Series: Clay and Cast Iron [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Historical, Caretaking, Chronic Illness, Crossdressing, First Time, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iaintafraidofnoghostbear/pseuds/iaintafraidofnoghostbear, https://archiveofourown.org/users/steven_damnkos/pseuds/trashcoon
Summary: Nolan wakes slowly, floating back to awareness in the dim light of a late fall morning. He’s warm, despite the faint chill that inevitably creeps in overnight. Ivan is pressed up behind him and their shared body heat beneath the heavy quilts wards off the cold.//Nolan and Ivan settle even further into married life.
Relationships: Nolan Patrick/Ivan Provorov
Series: Clay and Cast Iron [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604161
Comments: 19
Kudos: 139





	Sunflower Skies

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone was wondering what we had in mind for Nolan and Ivan's house, you can get a pretty good idea [here](https://www.instagram.com/p/B3CXpekh5Eq/?igshid=yytzjl9rniuo).

Nolan wakes slowly, floating back to awareness in the dim light of a late fall morning. He’s warm, despite the faint chill that inevitably creeps in overnight. Ivan is pressed up behind him and their shared body heat beneath the heavy quilts wards off the cold. Of course, Nolan notices what else is pressed up against him, his cheeks flushing. 

It is, obviously, not the first time he’s woken up to his husband’s hardness like this. The first time, Nolan had been startled, embarrassed and a little bit frightened. Ivan’s his husband and - from what his mama told him - Nolan would have duties to his husband in their marital bed, and that there was a possibility he wouldn’t enjoy it. All Ivan had done, though, was apologize softly and roll away, heading to dress and take care of the early morning chores. 

At times, Nolan wonders if he should offer, if that’s what’s expected. He doesn’t know where to start, though, and he and Ivan have only exchanged the odd kiss here and there. Truthfully, he’d always dreamed about soft, sweet kisses with a husband who loved him, remembering the stories he’d heard now and again about how nice a lover’s kiss could be. 

He thinks about it, swaying on the porch swing while he knits. Ivan’s out with Shayne and the others moving the cattle, and there’s a chill to the breeze that has Nolan tugging his shawl tighter around his shoulders. The sun is warm, but winter will be here soon enough. He lets his mind wander, thinking about cuddling with Ivan to stay warm, about work-rough hands touching him gently and he has to shake his head to clear it of those thoughts before his arousal shows beneath his skirts. 

Shivering when the wind kicks up higher, Nolan sets aside his knitting to make his way carefully down the steps. He pushes his wheelchair across the yard so he can feed the chickens, resting in it while they eat before shooing them back inside their coop. There’s a storm coming, he’s fairly sure, and Ivan will have enough to worry about without checking on the hens, too. 

Sure enough, by the time the sun starts to set, the wind is howling and dark clouds have blotted out the sun. Nolan’s started a stew, putting coffee on even though it’s late. He’s glad of it when cold rain starts pelting the windows a while before Ivan makes it home. Nolan blushes as Ivan strips right there on the back porch, wringing out his dripping clothes before padding in the house. 

“Let me take those. You go get changed,” Nolan murmurs, gently tugging the bundle of fabric from Ivan so he can drape them over a chair in front of the fire to dry. His face is still flushed when Ivan makes it back downstairs, huddling by the stove for a moment to warm his hands. Nolan nudges a cup of coffee into his hand, startling when Ivan presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“You’re a blessing. I would have been back sooner, but we had to finish getting the cattle moved.” Ivan takes a long drink, sighing in satisfaction before frowning briefly. “I should have closed up the chicken coop before coming in.” 

“I shut them up already. I could feel the chill in the air earlier, and I didn’t want you to worry about them.” Nolan stirs the stew, taking it off the fire. He offers Ivan a little smile when his husband steps in to move the heavy pot from the stove to the table. Ivan smiles right back, his grin broad in a way that makes Nolan duck his head as he reaches out to give Nolan’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

“You really thought of everything, Nolan. Thank you.” 

They settle in to eat, the warm food, coffee, and slow, easy conversation pushing back against the cold of the pounding rain. Later that night, curled into his husband’s side, Nolan makes himself a promise about talking to Ivan about his thoughts and curiosities. After all, his husband is a thoughtful, kind man and Nolan thinks the risk might be worth it. 

They’re out on the porch swing, enjoying what is probably one of the last warm days of the year when Nolan plucks up the courage to ask. 

"I've been thinking . . . do you think we could kiss some more? We are married, and it's supposed to be rather nice." Nolan can feel his face go hot but - when he looks over - his husband has gone quite pink as well. 

"I could - I wasn't sure - well," Ivan stutters, running a hand over his face as he tries to gather himself. "I didn't want to take advantage," he manages finally, reaching over to thread their fingers together.

Nolan smiles softly, squeezing Ivan's hand with a hum. "All you had to do was ask." He leans over, pressing a kiss to Ivan's flushed cheek, feeling the warmth of it beneath his lips. He feels a bit dizzy with it when Ivan turns and brings their mouths together. His stubble is scratchy but his mouth is so soft against Nolan’s. It leaves him trembling. 

Nolan’s face and mouth are warm and tender when they finally break apart and he leans his head against Ivan's shoulder, breathing out a soft, "Oh." He would quite like to do that again, maybe inside where the rise in his skirts wouldn't be so embarrassing, even if there is no one out here to see them but the chickens.

"Can we go inside and do that again?"

Ivan chuckles, stealing another quick peck before helping him upstairs. It feels like such a big, scary step for them but - once they're in bed - Ivan only leans enough over Nolan to kiss him gently. He’s careful not to press Nolan into the bed, giving him space so he'll be comfortable, and to pull away if he needs to. Nolan’s not sure how it progresses, but their kisses heat up until they wind up clutching at each other, Nolan curled up half on top of Ivan. Like this, he can definitely feel his husbands interest pressing into his thigh and - if he weren’t already flushed from exertion and his own arousal - he’s sure his face would turn red.

"Can - can I touch you? Down there, I mean," he asks shyly, not sure if Ivan would even want that from him, but he’s curious and feeling bold enough to ask.

Ivan cups his cheek and kisses him briefly. "You don't have to. I'm okay."

"I want to." Nolan's cheeks flare with a new wave of embarrassment, pressing a small kiss to Ivan's lips. "I've never done this and I . .. I think I would like to. With you."

Ivan takes a slow breath and reaches down to unfasten his pants. Nolan doesn’t mean to gasp, but Ivan’s cock is long and thick and so hard. Tentatively, he lets hand trail down Ivan’s arm, brushing his fingers over the warm length. He’s not expecting it to twitch, and he pulls back, unsure, but Ivan’s reassuring him immediately. 

"It's alright, baby. That just means it felt good. You can keep going, if you want to.” 

With careful fingers, Nolan touches him again. Ivan’s cock is warm, the skin soft beneath his fingertips even though his husband is hard. Nolan traces the rim where Ivan’s foreskin is stretched over the head of his cock, feeling breathless when he realizes there’s a bead of moisture there. Ivan moans softly when Nolan touches it, spreading it over the head of his cock and Nolan can feel his own twitch in response. 

"What do I do?" Nolan murmurs. 

"Do you touch yourself like this?" Nolan's feels his face go impossibly redder, but he nods and Ivan reaches out to brush his thumb over that warm flush. "Do what you would do to yourself. I'll tell you if I don't like it."

Nolan slowly drags his fingers along Ivan's length before he wraps a hand around it, just feeling it in his hand. He gives a light stroke, not sure how tight to grip but Ivan lets out a soft sigh.

"That's good, sweetheart. You can go a little faster when you're ready."

Nolan bites his lip, glancing up at Ivan's face while he strokes him, slow but sure. He's never seen that euphoric look on his husband's face before, and it makes Nolan feel good to know he's the one that put it there.

"Tighter now? Yeah -  _ Nolan _ ." Hearing his name get dragged out on a moan makes Nolan hot all over. He's grateful that - even though it’s only him and Ivan - the angle and his skirts keeps his own cock hidden from view. He didn't know touching Ivan would make him feel so hot and bothered, shy about his own arousal. He kisses Ivan, using his thumb to rub the head.

He doesn't mean to startle and gasp out loud when Ivan suddenly groans and comes over his fingers. It’s hot and wet and sticky and Nolan feels like he's been set on fire when he looks down to see the pearly mess on his hand and over Ivan's stomach. He doesn't want to wipe his hand on their clothes or bedding, but he's almost frozen, staring at the mess.

"Sorry," Ivan mumbles, awkwardly digging for his kerchief, using it to wipe Nolan's fingers clean before mopping up his stomach. His cock is softening, and he tucks it away, although he leaves his pants unbuttoned.

Nolan feels hot and shivery, curling into Ivan’s side; he finds himself shy about it now and hides his face against his husband’s neck. "That was good...right?" 

Ivan rubs Nolan's back soothingly, nuzzling into his hair. "Really good. Don't be shy, Nolan. We're married; it's not improper."

"I'm sorry...I've just never done this with anyone else." He dares to peek up at Ivan, face still flushed. He gets a gentle hush and a kiss for his trouble. 

"You were perfect. Don't worry. Do you ... do you want me to touch you? I'd like that, if you do."

Nolan kisses Ivan softly, and again and then again before he speaks. "I'd like that, yes."

Ivan rucks up Nolan's skirt with care, cupping him between his legs just to feel at first. Warm, work-calloused fingers slide into Nolan’s underwear, stroking his cock lightly. He flushes when he realizes how wet the head of his cock is as Ivan uses it to ease the way. He gradually grips Nolan a little tighter, working him faster. All Nolan can do is cling to Ivan, his hips hitching into the touch until he comes with a soft cry. 

Ivan kisses him softly, finding the kerchief to wipe his hand again, cleaning carefully between Nolan’s legs. "That was beautiful."

Nolan's feels stunned and warm and quietly happy. He curls up against Ivan and falls asleep, waking to the sunrise and the scent of cooking bacon. Pleasure and embarrassment wash over him in waves - he’d done things with his husband, and had fallen asleep in his clothes after! 

Crawling out of bed, Nolan splashes cold water on his face and changes, quickly brushing his hair out and just pulling it back before going downstairs. He's not expecting Ivan to abandon the cast iron pan in favor of gathering Nolan close and kissing him deeply. Nolan makes a surprised noise, but he doesn't pull away. It’s nice, and he leans into Ivan’s embrace, resting his hands on his husband’s shoulders. 

Ivan smiles at him when he pulls back, offering a breathless "Hi," that Nolan can't help but return, the two of them laughing softly at their own awkwardness. "I made breakfast. C'mon," Ivan murmurs, gesturing for Nolan to sit while he salvages the bacon and plates up eggs for them both, dipping leftover biscuits in the hot grease to soften and toast them

Nolan watches Ivan move around the kitchen with ease, leaning his chin on his hand with a soft smile on his lips. He thanks Ivan for his plate, kissing his cheek. It doesn’t escape his notice that Ivan blushes, and Nolan wonders at the idea of it. 

Ivan is much freer with his affections, after that. He’d never been shy about holding Nolan’s hand or bringing him small gifts. Now, though he’ll kiss Nolan good morning, or come up behind him to wrap his arms around Nolan’s waist. 

They touch more in bed, as well. Mostly they kiss and use their hands. Once, Ivan had shyly asked if he could use his mouth on Nolan, but Nolan had been so embarrassed at the thought he’d hidden his face against Ivan’s chest and shook his head. Ivan had taken it in stride, coaxing him out of hiding and kissing Nolan sweetly. 

Ivan broaches the subject of … of  _ penetration _ delicately. They’re cuddling in the afterglow, so Nolan knows he doesn’t mean right now, but the idea still makes his heart race. 

“Won’t that hurt?” he whispers. He knows the shape and heft of Ivan’s cock well, now, and he knows the entrance that Ivan has only touched once is small and tight. 

“Not if we do it right. I know what to do, how to make it easier.” Ivan blushes a bit at that, glancing away for a moment. “I promise, I will take care of you if you want to try.” 

Nolan tucks himself closer, letting Ivan wrap him up tight. The comfort of his husband’s arms eases some of his anxiety; Ivan always looks out for him, cares for him, meeting Nolan part way each time. 

“Okay.” 

Ivan nuzzles his hair, pressing a soft kiss to his head. “Okay baby. I swear, if you don’t like it, I will never ask again.” 

Though he’s still nervous, Nolan finds himself flushing each time he thinks about it. His mama had told him about sex, wanting him to know so he wouldn’t be totally in the dark when he married. She hadn’t given him all the details because he’d been so young at the time, but he’d tried to hang on to her words. Thinking about doing that with Ivan . . . Nolan hopes it’s as nice as everything else with his husband has been. 

Ivan brings home a jar of translucent jelly that melts between the fingers, and Nolan feels his face turn red when he realizes what it’s for. He starts making sure he’s extra clean, just in case. 

They wind up in bed during a snowstorm, Nolan giggling as Ivan whispers sweet, silly things at him between kisses. He feels the weight of Ivan’s love settle over him when Ivan traces his thumb over the curve of Nolan’s cheek, the two of them smiling softly at each other. Ivan kisses him again, this one more intent, deeper and Nolan’s heart rate kicks up immediately. 

“Would you like to try?” Ivan murmurs. “We’ve got all the time in the world today.”

“Yes,” Nolan says softly. His face goes hot, and he has to look away for a moment. 

“I won’t be angry if you don’t want to. If you never want to, Nolan, that’s fine.” 

“I do.” Nolan swallows, and looks up at his husband. “I’m just nervous. I - I trust you, but I worry. With my body, even if you’re careful it might still hurt. Or I might not be able to.”

“If you don’t like it, if it hurts or you feel like it’s too much, I promise I’ll stop. You just have to tell me.” 

Nolan nods, leaning forward and sighing into Ivan’s mouth as they kiss. This is familiar, comfortable; Ivan gradually shifts until he’s on top of Nolan, weight braced up on his hands and knees to spare Nolan’s back and hips. They’re both wearing their sleep things, not having bothered to dress since they were snowed in, so it doesn’t take much to have them naked. Nolan finds it hard to relax, feeling oddly exposed in the light of day with the cool air of the room brushing against his skin. 

“Ivan, can we … the sheets?” he asks shyly, grateful when Ivan kisses his cheek. 

“Of course.” He tugs the sheets up over them, cocooning them in dim warmth. Even if it makes Nolan nervous to have Ivan kneeling between his legs, cock hard and resting against Nolan’s stomach, the proximity is nice. 

Ivan keeps kissing him softly, touching him with reverent hands. Of course, they’ve been naked together before, realizing quickly that sex could be messy and going without clothes in bed inevitably saved on laundry. But rarely had Ivan been above Nolan like this, the breadth of him blocking out the view. Nolan touches his shoulders, his arms, feeling the strength that comes from years of hard work. Ivan’s chest is broad, sprinkled with coarse hair that prickles lightly beneath Nolan’s fingers and palm. 

“You are so beautiful.” Ivan says it softly, and Nolan still feels his cheeks flame. He never would’ve believed such things from anyone else, he’s sure; but the look on Ivan’s face says that he means every word. 

“I love you.” It’s the only thing Nolan can find to say without feeling silly in that moment. Ivan smiles and kisses him again. 

Cool air creeps in when Ivan leans over to grab the jar from the bedside table, prompting them to rearrange the sheets. Nolan covers his face as Ivan parts his legs, an overwhelming wave of emotions washing over him. 

Petting his thighs, Ivan kisses the inside of one knee. “Don’t be shy, love.

Nolan gradually drops his hands to the bed, moaning softly as Ivan strokes his cock until he’s fully hard. It’s heady, seeing their lengths side by side like this, Ivan’s darker in color against Nolan’s pink cock and pale skin. Still, it’s not quite enough to distract Nolan from the nerves as Ivan dips his fingers in the jar, melting the lubricant between his fingers before reaching between Nolan’s legs. 

His touch is gentle, circling the tight furl of Nolan’s hole. The slick sensation is strange, but not uncomfortable. Ivan keeps it up until Nolan manages to relax somewhat, then he presses the tip of one finger inside. Nolan sucks in a breath despite himself; the penetration is stranger yet. 

“Tell me if anything hurts or if you want to stop,” Ivan reminds gently. Nolan nods and closes his eyes as Ivan pushes his finger in further. He breathes out slow, nibbling his lip when Ivan starts working that finger in and out of him in little thrusts. It doesn’t feel  _ good _ , exactly, but it’s not bad either, so Nolan murmurs his agreement when Ivan asks about adding a second finger to help stretch him. 

“Ow,” Nolan whispers despite himself when both fingers are in up to the second knuckle. It had stung, just for a moment, but sharply enough to draw the reaction. 

Ivan stills immediately, not pushing forward or pulling out. “Nolan? What hurts?” 

He looks worried when Nolan opens his eyes, and Nolan can’t help but reach down to touch the hand resting on his thigh. “Your fingers are thick. Just . . . go slow? I’m alright.” 

“Okay, love.” Ivan eases his fingers out before pushing back in, slowly working them deeper instead of in one steady push like the first one. This is easier to take, Nolan thinks; the stretch of both just pressing him open might’ve kept hurting, but this is gentler, stretching Nolan’s body bit by bit until Ivan’s hand is pressed up against his bottom. “How does that feel?” 

Waffling for a moment, Nolan decides to be honest. “Strange,” he admits. “It doesn’t hurt but . . . I don’t know. I feel full. We can keep going.” 

“If you’re sure.” Ivan kisses his knee again, petting lightly at Nolan’s thigh. This time, as he draws his fingers out, Ivan parts them slightly. He does this a bit more each time, working slow and easy. Now and then, he strokes Nolan’s cock, keeping him aroused as Ivan preps him. 

“I think that’s as far as we can get, unless you want to try another finger?” Ivan asks, but Nolan immediately shakes his head. Ivan’s fingers  _ are _ thick, and he knows that three of them are definitely thicker and more blunt than his cock. 

Fisting his hands in the sheets, Nolan tries to hide the way he trembles as Ivan slicks up his cock and shifts forward, lining the head up to Nolan’s hole. Ivan goes impossibly slow, but Nolan finds himself squirming and making soft noises, anything to alleviate the sensation inside him. It aches in a dull way, but never crosses over into anything sharp or truly painful. 

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Ivan murmurs, kissing Nolan’s cheek. Nolan’s not sure at what point his eyes slipped closed again, but he leaves them that way, sure that being able to see Ivan would be completely overwhelming. “Nolan?” 

“It’s okay. It’s so much, Ivan.” 

“I know. I know, it’s okay. Just let me know if I do anything that you don’t like, alright? You feel so good baby.” 

It seems like forever before Ivan’s snug up inside him, and Nolan is grateful that Ivan stills when he is. It gives him time to breathe, to coax the instinctual flutter of his body around Ivan’s cock to ease. Opening his eyes, he finds Ivan watching his face. His husband is flushed, a little sweaty, but perfectly still as he waits. Love rushes through Nolan, then, and he unclenches his hands from the sheets to wrap his arms around Ivan’s neck, keeping them close. 

“I’m okay. You can move.” 

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t for Ivan to keep going slow and gentle. Every thrust is measured, Ivan cautious about not to go too hard or too fast. His care warms Nolan from the inside and makes it easier for him to let go, giving in to the sensations as Ivan rocks inside him. Little sounds start to fall from his lips again, especially when Ivan brushes up against a spot inside him that makes his toes curl. It would be embarrassing if anyone else could hear him, but there’s only Ivan, murmuring soft words of love and praise. 

“Oh,” Nolan breathes out. “Oh, Ivan please?” He’s not even sure what he’s asking for, but he moans gratefully when Ivan touches his cock, stroking it in counterpoint to his thrusts. Nolan’s making high mewling noises by the time he comes, choking on his breath for a moment before moaning long and loud. His orgasm makes his body clench around Ivan, highlighting the thick weight of his cock and drawing a low curse from between Ivan’s lips. 

It’s almost too much sensation, but Nolan hangs on until Ivan comes, too, giving a soft grunt when Ivan collapses on him slightly. He’s not too heavy, so Nolan strokes his shoulders and back. 

Ivan looks slightly dazed when he pushes himself back up, but he kisses Nolan fiercely nonetheless, cupping his face in his hands. “You were so perfect. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

“No.” Laying his hands over Ivan’s, Nolan feels a bit overcome. He’d been so afraid of this, even with a kind husband like Ivan. But Ivan had been so patient and so gentle . . . Nolan sniffles despite himself, and Ivan’s expression turns worried again. “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just - you’re so good to me. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I feel lucky to have you, too.” 

Soreness makes itself known when Ivan gently slides out of Nolan’s body. This is messy, too, but Ivan cleans him up and fills his hot water bottle, curling up behind him and helping to hold it to his hips. 

* * *

They’d talked about children just once, after one of the folks in town had asked about it. Ivan had known it was going to be a difficult if not outright painful conversation when he saw how Nolan became withdrawn, expression pinched in that way it gets when he’s upset. He’d confessed quietly and tearfully that he was afraid of carrying his own child, sure that the strain of childbirth would be the end for him - and that was if he could even get pregnant at all. 

Ivan had kissed him softly, holding him as tenderly as he could, reassuring him that he didn’t care if they had children and that - if Nolan wanted to - they could always adopt. There were plenty of little ones who needed homes. Nolan had agreed and clung to Ivan desperately until his tears and trembling subsided. 

That had been a few months ago, now. Of course, it was near impossible for it to slip from Ivan’s mind. He’d heard the rumors, the whispers about Nolan not being able to provide him a child. Their friends and good acquaintances shut some of them down, but there were those who outright disliked one or the other or even both of them and were unafraid to let their tongues wag. But that’s not the first thing on his mind when he’s asked by Judge Giroux to tend to some repairs at the local orphanage, a two-story house that held about 15 children and their three caretakers. 

The roof is leaking and that’s the first thing Ivan tackles. Really, he should have asked one of his men along or had Giroux send help, but he manages on his own, replacing the boards and shingles. There’s a leaky faucet in the upstairs bathroom, sagging boards on the back step, and the screen door that just won’t latch and stay latched, and that’s only the things the Sheriff told him about. Ivan finds even more things, and starts to make a mental list, trying to prioritize and figure out what he’s going to need to tackle it all. 

It’s when he’s replaced one of the wobbly boards on the staircase that he notices her. She looks to be about two or three, but can barely pull herself to stand, taking a few wobbly steps before falling down onto her bottom. She doesn’t cry, but she doesn’t get back up, either. The other children in the room don’t pay her any mind, continuing to play around her. He catches the attention of the matron as she passes by, pointing the little girl out. 

“Poor girl,” the woman clucks. “Her parents died when she was still an infant. She’s a sickly little thing, so she’s small for her age.” 

Crossing the room, the woman picks her up. Ivan’s startled when she hands the child over, but the little girl doesn’t protest at all. Instead, she sighs as though she’s very, very tired and rests her head against his shoulder, sticking her thumb in her mouth. It feels surreal, but every bit of Ivan is telling him he needs to take this little girl home. 

"Hey there....can you tell me your name?" He rubs her back, waiting for an answer before she answers in a tiny voice. 

"Rosie." 

"Rose Marie," the matron offers, and Ivan nods. He holds the little girl a bit longer before allowing one of the matrons to take her away for lunch. 

"I'd like to bring my husband by to see her, if that's alright. We've - we don't have any children of our own, but we have the means to care for one."

"The children rest after lunch, it's too hot for them to do anything else, but you're welcome to bring your husband then." The matron gives Ivan a small smile, clearing her throat. "You'll be doing a great favor by taking her in."

Ivan's nervous about bringing it up, but the kiss on the cheek he gets when he makes it home along with sweet tea and cold sandwiches Nolan has ready eases something in his chest. "There was a little girl at the orphanage today. I thought . . . well. Would you want to go see her?"

Nolan's sat across from Ivan, sipping his own glass of tea. He sets it down, hand shaking a little. "You think she'd be good for us? Do you think they'll even let me have her?" Nolan trails off, pulling a slice of tomato from his sandwich seemingly just to have something to do with his hands. "I'd like to meet her, at least."

"She's special," Ivan says softly. He knows Nolan will know what he means once he sees her. "And there's no reason for them not to. We've a house, steady income. And there's folks that know us, including the sheriff and the judge."

Nolan nods at that, a small smile on his lips. "You've definitely made up your mind...she must be real special for you to have your heart set on her already. What's her name?"

"Rosie." Ivan reaches for Nolan's hand, holding it gently. "Rose Marie, but she said Rosie. We can go in a little while, if you want to rest first?"

Nolan nibbles his lip. "I'd like to change. Help me upstairs?" Most days lately, Nolan can manage by himself but Ivan helps him anyway, knowing it will be less taxing on him since they're going into town as well. Nolan changes into a nicer skirt and fresh blouse, pulling his hair back before settling on the bed. They lay together for a while, an unusual but welcome respite to Ivan's normally busy days. There's still work to be done at the orphanage, but the matrons had wanted quiet for a bit while the children had lunch and the youngest were put down for naps.

Nolan holds Ivan's hand while they rest on the bed, the ceiling fan turning slowly over them. He startles a bit when Ivan lifts their hands, but he blushes a little and smiles when Ivan just kisses it. "You don't have to do this for me. Just know that. I'm happy as we are."

"It's not just for you, darling. I've been thinking about children for a while, but I'm too scared to die trying to have my own. If we can give this little girl a home, that'll be just fine,” Nolan says softly, voice sure.

Ivan kisses his hand again and they lay together for a while more before heading downstairs. The drive is familiar, and the radio crackles a bit before it catches the radio station. Summer's hot but fading gradually toward fall as the grasses brown and the sunflowers start to droop their heads instead of following the sun. Absently, Ivan runs some winter preparation tasks through his head, but he pushes those thoughts away for later as they pull up in front of the house that contains the orphanage.

Ivan has to help Nolan down out of the truck, handing him his cane to lean on as they walk to the doors, Nolan taking a bit longer to make it up the steps. He does well enough on flat, but stairs and hills are always more challenging. Still, the matron who greets them doesn't seem phased by it. She invites them to sit while the younger matron goes to fetch Rosie, who should be just waking from her nap.

Nolan's grateful for the chair, crossing his legs and arranging his skirts while they wait, cane leaned against the wall beside him. Ivan reaches over to take Nolan's hand, squeezing it gently.

Rosie is still clearly sleepy when they bring her in. She melts right into Nolan's lap and leans against his chest. He brushes the hair clinging to her pink little cheeks away and frowns, resting his palm over her forehead. "She's got a fever?" he asks, turning his look up at the matrons. Ivan catches himself frowning, too; he hadn't thought the little girl was sick earlier, but he'd been so hot from working out on the roof, he realizes he might not have noticed if she were over warm.

"She has been warm since yesterday, but it happens often." Nolan looks even more upset with that, frowning. "She needs to be cooled off...has she even seen a doctor?"

Ivan sees Nolan take a deep breath when the matrons exchange a look. They both know that means no. "Would you call one? We'll pay," Nolan says, cutting off the protest he knows is coming. "We intend to adopt her, so we can start there. Please." He adds the last to soften his stern words, shooting Ivan a nervous look.

The head matron nods in agreement, one of the others going to call for the local doctor. "Costs are what prevents us from calling the doctor unless they're gravely ill."

Ivan can see the way Nolan's lips thin at that, but he only nods. He's sure he'll hear about this on the way home. There's some discussion from the matrons that makes him nervous and it's not long before he understands why. 

"We're thrilled you intend to provide a home for Rosie, but the judge and I will need to make a home visit," the head matron explains carefully. 

Nolan just barely manages to keep his face and voice polite, still cradling Rosie in his arms. "Of course. Judge Giroux is someone we're quite familiar with."

Ivan asks for them to arrange the visit as soon as possible; Giroux is able to come by the next day, though rather late. That, at least, seems to soothe some of Nolan's quiet ire. He rocks Rosie gently, clearly worried about the little girl who is far too still and quiet for a child her age. Dr. Briere arrives a while after she's fallen asleep, little face tucked against Nolan's chest. He clucks at her temperature and small stature, looking more relieved than any doctor probably ought to when Nolan explains they intend to adopt her. He prescribes rest and broth, and gives the matron a balm to spread on her chest to soothe any coughing. 

"Please, call me again if her temperature worsens. It looks to just be a cold but she's quite affected because she's so young," he explains in is soft accent. Nolan nods in acknowledgement, Ivan seeing to the payment before the doctor leaves.

Nolan is still upset about having to leave Rosie until Claude can visit the house, but he asks to personally see that she's tucked into bed with a cool cloth on her forehead and balm on her chest. She's deeply asleep, and that brings a little peace to Nolan.

"You knew I couldn't let her stay there," Nolan murmurs when they're curled up together in bed that night. He's impossibly warm, pressed up against Ivan's side, putting out more heat when they're in bed than he does normally. 

"You know I couldn't either. But yes."

The next morning, Ivan finds he's glad that Nolan's not overly prone to panic cleaning. He does ask Ivan to dust a few high places he can't reach himself, but mostly settles for making sure that there's biscuits and tea for when the matron and Judge Giroux arrive.

Judge Giroux smiles at them when Ivan answers the door for him, taking off his hat and allowing Ivan to take his coat. The matron isn't far behind, eyes already roving over the living room. "Don't worry, boys. I expect this will be fairly painless." He stops long enough to shake Nolan's hand, waiving off his offer of refreshments for now. "I've seen most of your property, do you mind showing me around the house?" 

"Ivan will show you the upstairs, if that's alright." Nolan doesn't say anything more, grateful when the judge agrees readily. He and the matron follow Ivan upstairs, their weight making the boards creak as they move around. He'd made sure to put fresh linens on the guest room bed - the one that'll be Rosie's if they're allowed to have her. It's not long before they're back downstairs, and Nolan takes them on the short tour of the downstairs. He also shows the matron the yard, with their garden and the chicken coop.

Once back in the house, Claude seats himself at the kitchen table, thanking Nolan as he pours him a glass of tea. "Thank you. Now, my official ruling is that this is a perfectly fit house for a child to live in, and I know you boys will treat that girl like the damn queen."

The matron seems startled by Claude's cursing, but only purses her lips and takes a drink of tea as Claude goes on. "We'll have the adoption papers ready for you whenever you're ready to pick her up. Just make sure you get it filed with my office right away, alright?"

"Yes, of course, your honor. Thank you for taking the time to come all the way out here. We really appreciate it." Nolan smiles, wiping his hands on a clean rag. "How's your wife?"

It’s easy to make small talk then, and Ivan just watches as Nolan smiles his small smile. Their guests take their leave after a couple more glasses of tea and several biscuits. He's not ready for it when Nolan nearly collapses in his arms, clinging tight and Ivan's alarmed to find his husband crying.

"Nolan, sweetheart, what's wrong?" 

Nolan sniffles, letting Ivan dab at his tears. "Oh, we're going to have a little girl...all our own." 

They go out as soon as Ivan is done with morning chores. He still has work to do at the orphanage but Nolan is able to stay and spend time with the children, helping rock the smallest ones and letting Rosie get comfortable with him. Nolan's quiet voice is soothing to the children, and Rosie is never very far from him throughout the day, in his lap or settled down beside him.

Ivan comes to find them when he's done, settling down beside them on the porch. He lets Nolan finish the book he's reading to Rosie and a couple of the others. He opens his mouth to speak, but Nolan beats him to it. He gently settles Rosie in his lap and pets her brown curls away from her face. "How would you feel about coming home with us, Rosie?"

Ivan and Nolan both have gentle smiles on their faces, Rosie looking up at them with her big blue eyes. "You mean it?"

"We do," Ivan confirms. Nolan just keeps rubbing her back, letting her think. He has to hold himself in check when she asks, "You're gonna be my papa?"

"Well, I thought Ivan would be papa, but yes, sweetheart."

"That sounds nice," she says softly, leaning back against his chest. 

"Then let's get you home." 

The matrons have gotten Rosie's small amount of belongings together, and Ivan carries it to the truck before going back to help Nolan and Rosie into it. She falls asleep before they get there and Ivan can see how Nolan never stops looking at her the whole drive.

"You're really excited about this, aren't you?" Ivan's smile is soft, looking back at the road.

Nolan's come very far with the chickens and yard work, and Ivan knows raising Rosie will be really good for Nolan. It will be a challenge, but a good one.

"I never thought - well. I figured even if I found a man to marry, children would be just a dream. And she's so sweet. I hope we can make her happy." Ivan hates hearing how sad Nolan's voice goes at the end; he knows well enough how unhappy Nolan's own childhood was after his mother died.

Ivan reaches over, putting his hand on Nolan's knee and gently squeezing it. "I know we will. You love her already, and I knew she had to be ours. We'll give her the best life we can, love."

Ivan has to carry her upstairs, but Nolan's not far behind. They tuck her in together, Nolan settling another cool rag on her forehead to combat the slight fever that's still plaguing her. He's a little sad going through her belongings - a handful of clean but threadbare clothes - and a couple of faded pictures of her mother. Nolan tucks those away for another day, putting them in his chest with his mama's things for safekeeping.

“She’ll need clothes. I can make her some things,” Nolan muses as they change for bed. He comes readily when Ivan reaches for him, tucking him close. 

“I’m sure they’ll be lovely. Anything you need for her, let me know? I’ll pick it up when I’m in town.” Ivan kisses Nolan’s forehead. “But sleep, love. We’re gonna need our energy.” 

They wake to the sound of crying, and Ivan is rolling out of bed before he’s truly awake. Rosie is reaching for him as soon as he crosses the threshold to her room, so he scoops her up gently, carrying her back to his and Nolan’s room. Nolan takes her and tucks her against his chest. Ivan’s heart melts when she snuggles close, curling her little fingers into the fabric of Nolan’s nightgown. 

"What's wrong, little one? Did you have a bad dream?" Nolan rubs her back slowly, trying to settle her down.

"Yeah," she says in a small voice. "Sorry." 

"Oh, Rosie. Don't be sorry. You're someplace new and that can be scary. It's okay." They wind up settling down with the little girl between them. She stays snuggled into Nolan's chest, and amazingly sleeps the rest of the way through until morning.

  
  


* * *

  
They go through a morning routine once she's woken up, Ivan gently brushing her hair and dressing her in the clothes Nolan has laid out. Nolan's started on breakfast, and Ivan takes over, letting Nolan take Rosie. He gathers her soft curls into tiny braids while she kicks her bare little feet in the kitchen chair.

Nolan ties the braids off with pretty ribbons, pressing a kiss to the top of Rosie's head before sitting down beside her. He watches her look around the kitchen, humming as her feet swing. She’s still flushed, obviously fevered, but feeling better for having slept. She doesn’t eat much, but drinks the broth Nolan ends up making for her. He puts her down for a nap around midday, curling up on the chaise with her and watching her sleep. 

While Rosie naps, Nolan mentally plans new clothes for her. He has some skirts and blouses he can take the fabric from to make her things. She’ll need winter clothes, too, and - while he can make some of those - he knows that they’ll need to put in an order with Mr. Gudas to get her a proper winter coat. 

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he wakes to Ivan gently shaking him. Rosie’s curled against his chest, still over-warm but sound asleep. Ivan kisses his forehead, brushing his fingers through her soft curls. “I’ll get a blanket. I’m sure she needs the rest. I’ve made lunch.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Nolan whispers back, suddenly feeling guilty. “I had meant to, but she was napping -” 

“Don’t be. You don’t know how it warms me, seeing you two like this. And little ones need affection.” Ivan kisses him again and slips off to bring a blanket to tuck Rosie in on the chaise. She sniffles a little but stays asleep as Nolan steps away, following Ivan into the kitchen. 

“It’s already hard to leave her,” he confesses, picking apart his sandwich and popping a slice of tomato in his mouth. He blushes when he looks up to find Ivan watching him fondly. 

“I love you. You’re going to be such a good parent.” He reaches for Nolan’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

Rosie wakes a little while later and has more broth and bit of bread. Nolan can’t manage carrying her upstairs, so they lay together on the chaise, Rosie tucked against him while he sews. Ivan had fetched him an old shirt of his and a worn skirt of Nolan’s own, and he’d set into cutting out pieces right away. The fabric is soft but not threadbare, and Nolan figures it will be perfect for what he has in mind. 

It takes a couple of days - days in which Rosie obviously starts feeling better and their lives start forming a new routine around the three of them - but then Nolan’s stitching little eyes and a nose and mouth on the bear he’s made. Ivan’s shirt has given it a plaid pattern, but the worn fabric is soft under his fingertips, made cuddly by being stuffed with scraps of skirt. He’d fashioned little socks and hands from the skirt fabric and - though it hardly matches up to the quality of something storebought - Nolan feels pretty pleased with it. 

He gives it to Rosie before bed, watching nervously as the little girl takes it, looking it over. She touches the eyes and nose, running little fingers over the ears. 

“For me?” she asks softly, looking up at Nolan with hopeful eyes. 

“For you. Everyone needs a friend to keep them company.” 

Rosie hugs the bear to her, arms tight around it. “Thank you Papa,” she almost whispers, and Nolan has to swallow back tears. 

“Oh sweetheart. You’re welcome.” He tucks Rosie in, kissing her forehead before heading toward his and Ivan’s room. 

Ivan’s looking out the window, watching the sun set. He wraps an arm around Nolan, holding him close. “She in bed?” 

“Yeah. I’ll check on her after I change.” They’re quiet for a little while, watching the sky gradually darken. Ivan idly scratches at his jaw where a layer of stubble has slowly turned into something that is almost a beard. Nolan touches it, too, feeling the prickle of hair under his fingertips. 

“I’ll shave in the morning.” 

Nolan hums softly. “I think it makes you look handsome.” 

“Oh, because I wasn’t before?” Ivan grins as Nolan slaps his chest lightly in protest. “Maybe I will. Someone might try to steal you away from me if I’m not looking my best.” 

Nolan laughs out loud at that, smiling against Ivan’s mouth when Ivan dips to kiss him. They end up in bed, quietly trading kisses and rocking together, hoping the squeak of the bed doesn’t wake Rosie. Curled up in his husband’s arms, warm and sated with their child sleeping down the hall . . . Nolan sends a silent thank you to whoever is looking out for him that he would turn out to be so lucky. 


End file.
